Weddings

I really did not want to address this topic here, but some reactions to my engagement have fascinated me. My partner and I are planning a non-traditional wedding, like most people getting married these days. After conversations with a few people, it's amazing how traditional non-traditional weddings are expected to be.

Let's start with the engagement. I asked him. That didn't surprise anyone. I didn't ask for a ring. Some people looked at me dumbfounded. One girl said, " O my god, o my god, o my god, let me see it!!!". I said I didn't' have one. She looked like I said pure gibberish. I did get a ring however. Eric wanted me to have one, and managed to convince me it's not for ownership purposes. It's not a diamond. More confusion. "But your not really engaged if it's not a diamond". O dear! What is an engagement then?

Some more non-traditional wedding ideas that leave people stumped, as I have recently discovered:

1) No white dress
2) No tuxedos
3) No bridal party
4) No reception ( this one also elicits blank stares)
5) No flowers
6) No gifts or money donations (No one understands this, when in fact it's rather simple. Marriage shouldn't be about profiting off your friends or receiving toasters and blenders. We don't need anything we can't buy ourselves. )
7) No cake (I thought this was becoming more common, but it's still disapproved)
8) No fancy invitations or save the dates
9) No favors or gifts for attending our ceremony (Dumb idea. Our asking you to come is your gift)
10) No music (It's in a park. The geese and bugs will provide lovely tunes)
11) Not needing to be the center of attention ("But it's your special day." No, it's Eric's too and will be special no matter what.)
12) No veil
13) No father giving me away to my husband ( How many goats am I worth?)

My wild ideas are very offensive to some people. I don't understand why.

I love that show Bridezillas. I'm sure some of it is over dramatized, but I'm also sure there are actual people like that in this world. In one episode, this woman didn't like her veil so she ripped it up. It cost about $700. In another one, some chick got mad at something and put her $3,000 dress in the bathtub. My ideas for what I don't want at my wedding have come from this show. Brides are treated like farm animals and out of control consumers. Too many women buy into it without stopping to think if they should. I can't help but think most women get married to have an over-the-top party and act like a princess for the day. Businesses that cater to weddings are excellent at making this happen. Weddings supposedly cost around $20,000. For what? All you need is the marriage license.

Why am I getting married? Excellent question, considering I've been saying I'm against getting married for most of my life. First of all, it was my decision. I'm not getting married for security or money or for social reasons. (Yes, some women want to get married because all their friends are married.) I'm in it for more practical reasons. Eric is an excellent life partner. He gives me plenty of space and allows me to grow as a person. We are both free to pursue any hobbies or interests or even careers. Neither one of us is dependant on the other for anything, including money or a social life. We are very compatible and are excellent communicators. We are friends first and there is no jealousy between us. I think I am very lucky because many people are in marriages that are nothing like this.

I have a great relationship with Eric, why complicate it with marriage? I am looking forward to sharing my life with Eric. That includes all my health decisions, financial decisions and anything else that comes along. I want him to have access to all my junk and to be the one in charge of my assets if I croak.

Any other questions or comments?